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Needless to say, it was kind of an insult even back then; nothing screams romance more than “I’m interested in you but not enough to actually to join the site.” Fortunately most sites seem to have wised up and charge a subscription fee instead, but the vestigal organ that is the “wink” hangs in there like an appendix and does nothing but cause trouble.Here’s the thing: everybody knows exactly what it means when a guy sends one of these.
So a (very generic) example would be: “Hey, you seem like you’re cool and I wanted to say “hey.” So… Hope to talk to you soon, YOUR_NAME” Give it a somewhat offbeat subject line in order to stand out from the crowd – I’ve always had success with “Pirates are inherently cooler than ninjas” – and send it on its way. If you’re not the most assertive or confident person, you may not feel comfortable asking somebody out on a date early on.Sometimes it’s something fixable – your profile isn’t exciting, your spelling is off…– and sometimes it’s something that you can’t control like reminding them of an ex-boyfriend or using a phrase they hate with the passion of a thousand suns. Put your focus where it should be: on the people who interested in you.It’s a way of saying “I know you’re probably not going to write back to me, so please notice me noticing you and do the hard work for me…” If you’re interested in them, send an email already!Much like stressing about the opener, the first email is there to get them interested enough to write back.